February 12th

Day 43

Leaves of Grass, deathbed Bantam edition - pages 238-283, 289, 294-306, 309-334 (86 pages)

Goal - 6 books 31 pages

Total - 4 books 133 pages

Result - 1 book 158 pages to reach goal

All the skips today were poems already read in the first edition. Kind of makes it complex but this will probably be the only book like this the entire year where I have a bunch of skipped pages in the middle of the text.

I'm excited though, because I'm getting closer to done! Only about 60 pages left in this! :D Today I read the entire death section and it was sad. I think in many ways the first edition is superior for its freshness and focus, but after reading 400 pages of poetry, sort of arranged in the order of life I'd say, ending with the death poems (well, followed by annexes but the last major section is the death one), it's sort of like reading a book and getting really invested in a character and then getting to the end and knowing the character is close to death and feeling it with him.

That's how I felt reading those. Whitman is so good at immediacy and with me reading so many other poems first of course I felt I've gotten to know him somewhat (don't tell him that though - he doesn't like it! lol). So the end of life poems are bittersweet and melancholy, only tinged though, because he makes sure to insert his usual zest for life. I love his optimism to the end and you get the sense that he's one of the ones who reaches the end of life and approaches it with happiness and gusto. Not that he wouldn't want to be younger again, but it's the natural course of things.

I think now and always, no matter what people say, in life and in literature you find that once one grows old (which I personally haven't yet) the fear of death and the regrets of life come into play more than one might want. I think it's a somewhat rare person who can really and truly overcome that in old age. I have no idea if Whitman really overcame that or not, but certainly his poems present himself well and make me hope that I can have that kind of outlook in old age.

Heck, really, his outlook is so positive and life-affirming and inclusive that I hope I could have that kind of outlook any time!